Haha. So relatable. I agree, it’s not quite a *voice*. I feel it as a sort of angsty queasiness in my stomach and legs which ebbs and flows according to some arbitrary notion of whether I’m hitting some unspecified ‘minimum quality’ level. First drafts always typed at speed, with one eye closed, and the assumption that ‘oh all this is just placeholder’ 😬🤓😂😖
Hi Mason! Sounds like sheer torture to me 😅. I get far more twisted around about producing art than producing anything written, I think probably because I don't call myself a Writer with a capital W. Whereas with art... I'm supposed to be an Artist. I have a degree in Fine Art with Distinction so, pressure's on. Don't get me wrong---my writing is definitely never as good or as elegant as I'd like it to be. But there's no pressure to be great, so I don't worry about it too much. Must be nice, huh?
Nice to hear from you, B.A.! I do think you're right about the pressure that comes with publicly calling oneself a Writer or an Artist. And, to be honest, I like a certain amount of pressure! Keeps things interesting 😅
Glad to see you pop in my feed again! I have a similar reaction to all my writing - especially when the first draft is on the laptop. I find typing goes too quickly for me to able to put much thought into the sentence itself. I've found greater success in writing the first draft by hand, especially with the fountain pen (i.e a firm speed limit among other things). Also interesting, but I never have the same reaction with a drawing. I'm far more forgiving of the mistakes in art than in writing. I wonder why that is.
Oh, yes, I also find that writing by hand is a different experience: more exploratory, less final feeling — and, like you say, the "speed limit" might work better with the pace of our thoughts. Funnily, I also find this to be true with clumsily thumb-typing notes in my iPhone's Notes app, where some of my best writing occurs (in bed, of course).
Fountain pens rule! But my MS-damaged right arm can’t write for long. I love typing with my bluetooth keyboard on my lap. Good ideas are the best cure for diarrhea of the cursor. When I’m writing fast, ideas and ways to express them keep inserting themselves.
this is so relatable. I feel like I have to look like kind of a slob and be in bed or slouched on a sofa when I write to bypass my own self importance and just blend into ~expression.
Ooh, I like that idea of reclining/slouching to "bypass my own self importance" ! For me, I think it's more about comfort—I find the writing process physically uncomfortable, but it's a little easier if I'm swaddled/cocooned like a baby 🙃
I think you’re right on about the trick of waking up early — “because the inner critic is still groggy and not so assertive” — and creating deadlines - ” “because the adrenaline helps me outrun the voice a little faster”. Same, same!
You fooled me! Your writing is so assured and conversational, i just assumed it was easy to produce.
A colleague of mine at The Oregonian used to say he hated writing but really liked having written. But the more i write, the more I love the process. I like writing, and I have such a big ego that I don’t worry much about what utter dreck it might be.
Also, consider publishing on Friday instead of Tuesday. Your readers will have the leisure of the weekend to appreciate you.
Thanks, Fran, I'm glad the results seem assured and conversational!
As for Friday vs. Tuesday... I will think about it. Currently, I like building up toward a draft over the course of the week, then publishing it early the following week, after giving it some breathing room. And I like the idea of people reading these mostly process-focused dispatches while they're in their own work weeks and can potentially test or apply ideas from the newsletter against their projects.
So much of this hit home, especially the bit about writing to outrun the voice—not silence it. I’ve been thinking lately about how every scroll is a kind of training. Toward what, though? eek!
I'd really like you to write more about the non-voice - all the advice I've seen is about talking back to it, as though it's making verbalised arguments I could dispute, but that's not my experience at all.
(I always assumed I had an "inner monologue" but actually I think faster than words, in whole thoughts, rather than slowed down into sentence form. So self-criticism comes as the holistic concept and sensation of fear and failure etc etc, not actually voices. Although ofc I can think verbally, and do when I'm composing writing)
Haha. So relatable. I agree, it’s not quite a *voice*. I feel it as a sort of angsty queasiness in my stomach and legs which ebbs and flows according to some arbitrary notion of whether I’m hitting some unspecified ‘minimum quality’ level. First drafts always typed at speed, with one eye closed, and the assumption that ‘oh all this is just placeholder’ 😬🤓😂😖
Thanks, Nick, glad it's not just me. And I agree about the hard-to-describe bodily feeling. I read an interview with the novelist John Wray where he compares writing to the feeling of holding your breath underwater — not painful, exactly, but effortful. I think that gets close to it. (https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/author-john-wray-on-finding-your-path-even-if-it-takes-awhile/)
Love when you bring back the Miyazaki screengrabs. I can feel it every day, the limit of my ability.
So stinkin' excited to read your new book! Thank you for riding the waves for us so we can all enjoy it.
Aw, thanks, Hurley — so appreciate your enthusiasm over all these (gulp) years of flailing around!
Hi Mason! Sounds like sheer torture to me 😅. I get far more twisted around about producing art than producing anything written, I think probably because I don't call myself a Writer with a capital W. Whereas with art... I'm supposed to be an Artist. I have a degree in Fine Art with Distinction so, pressure's on. Don't get me wrong---my writing is definitely never as good or as elegant as I'd like it to be. But there's no pressure to be great, so I don't worry about it too much. Must be nice, huh?
Nice to hear from you, B.A.! I do think you're right about the pressure that comes with publicly calling oneself a Writer or an Artist. And, to be honest, I like a certain amount of pressure! Keeps things interesting 😅
Glad to see you pop in my feed again! I have a similar reaction to all my writing - especially when the first draft is on the laptop. I find typing goes too quickly for me to able to put much thought into the sentence itself. I've found greater success in writing the first draft by hand, especially with the fountain pen (i.e a firm speed limit among other things). Also interesting, but I never have the same reaction with a drawing. I'm far more forgiving of the mistakes in art than in writing. I wonder why that is.
Oh, yes, I also find that writing by hand is a different experience: more exploratory, less final feeling — and, like you say, the "speed limit" might work better with the pace of our thoughts. Funnily, I also find this to be true with clumsily thumb-typing notes in my iPhone's Notes app, where some of my best writing occurs (in bed, of course).
I can see how that might work the same way!
Fountain pens rule! But my MS-damaged right arm can’t write for long. I love typing with my bluetooth keyboard on my lap. Good ideas are the best cure for diarrhea of the cursor. When I’m writing fast, ideas and ways to express them keep inserting themselves.
this is so relatable. I feel like I have to look like kind of a slob and be in bed or slouched on a sofa when I write to bypass my own self importance and just blend into ~expression.
Ooh, I like that idea of reclining/slouching to "bypass my own self importance" ! For me, I think it's more about comfort—I find the writing process physically uncomfortable, but it's a little easier if I'm swaddled/cocooned like a baby 🙃
Yeahhh that’s an element of it as well (:
I think you’re right on about the trick of waking up early — “because the inner critic is still groggy and not so assertive” — and creating deadlines - ” “because the adrenaline helps me outrun the voice a little faster”. Same, same!
Thanks, Sabrina, you know I love a good groggy early-am writing session! 🪱
Dear Mason,
You fooled me! Your writing is so assured and conversational, i just assumed it was easy to produce.
A colleague of mine at The Oregonian used to say he hated writing but really liked having written. But the more i write, the more I love the process. I like writing, and I have such a big ego that I don’t worry much about what utter dreck it might be.
Also, consider publishing on Friday instead of Tuesday. Your readers will have the leisure of the weekend to appreciate you.
Thanks, Fran, I'm glad the results seem assured and conversational!
As for Friday vs. Tuesday... I will think about it. Currently, I like building up toward a draft over the course of the week, then publishing it early the following week, after giving it some breathing room. And I like the idea of people reading these mostly process-focused dispatches while they're in their own work weeks and can potentially test or apply ideas from the newsletter against their projects.
Weeee! Well done! So excited for the new book. Does it help to say your readers are grateful for the profound and consistent hassle?…
"the profound and consistent hassle" is a great way of putting it! And, yes, it helps! Thank you 🥹
great news! i've been looking forward to reading your new book for soooo long!
Thanks so much, Ray, I'm excited to finally get it out there!
So happy to hear that your book has flown the coop! XOP
Thank you, Pennell, so nice to see your name here! Forever grateful for your support ❤️
So much of this hit home, especially the bit about writing to outrun the voice—not silence it. I’ve been thinking lately about how every scroll is a kind of training. Toward what, though? eek!
I'd really like you to write more about the non-voice - all the advice I've seen is about talking back to it, as though it's making verbalised arguments I could dispute, but that's not my experience at all.
(I always assumed I had an "inner monologue" but actually I think faster than words, in whole thoughts, rather than slowed down into sentence form. So self-criticism comes as the holistic concept and sensation of fear and failure etc etc, not actually voices. Although ofc I can think verbally, and do when I'm composing writing)